MCSWEENEY'S: I am poseidon! God of the Sea! I Also Teach Water Aerobics on Saturdays.
“You may be surprised to know I’m considered a bit of a hothead in mythological circles. A few earthquakes, tidal waves and shipwrecks, and suddenly you’re labeled. It turns out I was simply craving the low-impact cardiovascular release of an activity such as this, not to mention the emotional release of trading my woolen frock for this Speedo. Talk about liberating.”